Gigantic

Gigantic

"Do we ever get what we want? Brian sells mattresses in a warehouse store. His father and older brothers have material success; he wants a child. He's applied to adopt a baby from China. A man who appears homeless seems to be stalking Brian with violent intent. He meets Happy, the daughter of a rich, quirky customer. She doesn't stick to anything, but she and Brian hit it off, except for her vomiting when she learns about his adoption idea. He wants her to meet his family, and there's a call about the adoption. What will Happy do?"

1 star

This movie had SO many great actors, that I'm actually pissed it sucked so bad. I like Paul Dano. I really like Zooey Deschanel. I think Zack Galifianakis is hilarious. And I think John Goodman has done a good job since 'Roseanne' in picking roles that legitimize him as a real actor. That being said, this movie blew big 'ol donkey dick.

Let me summarize the first 30 minutes: Brian (Paul Dano) goes to visit his scientist friend who apparently researches something by trying to get rats to drown. Then he goes to work at the Mattress Store that he works at in an abandoned warehouse. Oh wait, first a homeless guy (Zack Galifianakis) randomly tries to beat him to death with a pipe. Then he gets to work and sells a $8,000 bed to Al (John Goodman) who can barely speak in full sentences. Then Al's daughter, I can't believe this is her name, Happy (Zooey Deschanel) comes in a few hours later to pay for the bed and ends up sleeping on it in the middle of the store for 3 hours. Then Brian fucks Happy in the back of her station wagon. Then Brian tells Happy that he is trying to adopt a little baby from China . . . I'm sorry WHAT?! My brain just crawled out of my head so it could reach down and punch me in the nuts.

I would tell you more about the plot, but I couldn't force myself to watch anymore of the craptastic adventure in weirdness. Look, I like weird. I think its pretty obvious that I like weird. But there is GOOD weird and then there is just weird for the sake of being weird. This movie was the latter. So, sorry Paul Dano, in this instance I don't think I will 'drink your milkshake'.